Thursday, September 10, 2009

The Voice of TRUTH...

I had a revelation that I wanted to share with you this morning. It's been nagging me since the other day a little but this morning on my drive here it hit full on.....
I bought a little kid's cd because I was going to do youth music at church until it totally freaked me out and I said no.
BUT.. the song by Casting Crowns -The voice of Truth-was resung on there and the words rung LOUDLY in my ears. The song talks about listening to the Voice of Truth and not the lies that we have learned to believe.

Sometimes I'm just so afraid to try again, to invest my time, energy and my whole heart, and that's what it takes. Because I'm SCARED. I'm afraid to fail. I'm afraid and all I seem to hear are those voices telling me that it's not going to work and I'll never be able to beat this.
But I (WE) need to take heart and know that God is the voice of truth. And HIS message is one of freedom and love. Love when we fail and freedom from the guilt that has been ruling life. He gave us perfect bodies and wants us to be healthy. So... won't He then support us and give us the tools to do it? The tools to get through the rough stuff, the pain, and the doubt.
I'm choosing to listen and believe. I want the good things HE has for me on the other side of this. I'm ready to use my success for HIS glory and not for mine. I want a healthy body to use in service to Him. It's time I stop listening to the giant and listen to One who is bigger and stronger and who tells me to not be afraid. :)

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Hangin in there...

Just wanted to touch base. When I started this blog, I wanted it to be my HONEST journey. My story, what I was accomplishing along with what I was struggling with.
I guess in that is my answer.

I've been struggling as of late, ever since June when we lost my Father in law. His last conversation with me while he lay in bed on his last day here on earth was one about getting healthy. His last words to me were to encourage me to lose weight. He didn't want me to struggle with health issues caused by being overweight. I made him a promise that day and I intend to keep it. Struggles or not. I will lose my weight. I will get thin and enjoy this life as the gift it is. He's gone, but I'm not. I'm still here. And I need to be responsible with the body God gave me. I need to take care of it and live the life that I'm meant to.

I said that I've been struggling lately. Oh man have I been!!! I've also been trying to figure out why, or what is really going on. I think it's because I was starting to believe the lie that I've always believed. That I CAN'T DO IT. Ummm.. yeah I can! I KNOW I can, or I never would have started this blog. That alone proves that at least for one moment, I believed I can do this.

I also think my year mark was detrimental to my progress. During the first year I thought, this isn't that bad. I can SO do this. But then July came, after our HUGE loss in June, and I was worn out. I just didn't believe that I had another year in me. I even told my friend Jen that I was stopping the blog because I just "DIDN'T HAVE TIME." That grew over into my workouts and then into my nutrition. I just DON'T HAVE TIME. That is such a bunch of crap. Yes I do. I have time to watch TV, or talk on the phone, or go out to eat. I also have time to grab candy from my co-workers candy bowls. (There are some GOOD candy bowls here!) ugh!!!
I gotta get it together man!

It's time to start believing in ME again and in my ability to beat this.
Anyone with me?